everything seems HARD for us

love is COMPLICATED. tu yg boleh aku describe pasal capital L ni. i'm not kind of person yg pandai nak berjiwang. Dilemma in love. I've give everything and been fool enough for that. it's hard to accept the fact yg cinta korg betepuk sebelah tangan. why u have to stick with person yg  tak syg kan korang? right! im not easy to fall in love. seriously, no lie. hard for me to open my heart to other people. but when it comes to die? it seems diferent and I've being stupid all this time. die ade orang lain lahh. and used u to forget the past. I repeat , USED u. syaiqalbashir, please wake up! aku da try to bawak this relay to the level, and that was just a hope. yahhh, for what aku nak kene sacrifice diri aku kat orang yg tak nak kat aku? I'm crying a lot because of die.  work so hard to menangi hati die. then lastly, aku realise yg die sikit pon tak rase ape yg aku rase. sikit pon. die still ingat pasal past die,and never forget. on top of that, aku selalu and sentiasa fikir kemana die pegi, dengan sape die keluar, mesej dengan sape? bile die keluar tido rumah kawan pon aku da risau macam nak gile. what should i do? tinggal kan die and move on with my own life? or still stick dengan die and tahan dengan semua ni walaupon tak tau what will happen soon which is take a risk? DAMN!  You can close your eyes to the things you don’t want to see but you can’t close your heart to the things you don’t want to feel. tapi selama ni aku memang tak dapat rase kesungguhan die nan aku. but i ignored it. sebab ak pecayakan die, aku selalu pecaya yg die pon akan rasa ape yg selalu aku rase. aku selalu think aku yg tak cukup berusaha. aku selalu ingat kan diri sendiri for dont easily give up on win hati die. aku kene lebih usaha lagi supaya die nampak love aku. tapi........ everything seems hard for us. urmmmm, its okay. I'll try my best to accept this fact. yeahh I'll try.

# so start from this moment, aku kene selalu ingat kan diri aku for dont give any hope to my own self cuz soon we all know that die tak rase ape yang kau rase. please sedar yg u are not worth for die.just be a good friend pon okay kan. i believe that one day i deserve to have someone who deserve to have me.  I’m not supposed to love you, I’m not supposed to care, I’m not supposed to live my life wishing you were there. I’m not supposed to wonder where you are or what you’re doing, yes im not supposed.

Frustrated because I can’t tell if it’s real. Mad because I don’t know how you feel. Upset because we can’t make it right. Sad because I need you day and night. Angry because you won’t take my hand. Aggravated because you don’t understand. Disappointed because u didn't feel what i felt.